Am I depressed or just sad?
How do I know if I am depressed or just sad?
Sadness is an emotion and emotions are not good or bad.
Emotions are pieces of information your body and mind gives you about a situation. Which emotion and how big or small the emotion feels is directly related to the situation.
For example, you were not chosen for a promotion at work for which you worked really hard. You feel angry, disappointed and sad.
A healthy response:
I feel the emotions of anger, disappointment and sadness, discuss the disappointment with emotionally supportive, validating friends and decide on how I plan to move forward (i.e. stay at my job or seek other employment) and the distress passes.
A depressed response:
I suppress feelings of anger, disappointment and sadness; acting as if the decision doesn’t affect me. I start snapping at my family and friends for the smallest reasons, and stop putting in effort at work. I stop going to the gym, don’t want to shower, stay in bed all weekend long and don’t answer my phone. This behavior continues for multiple weeks.
How does depression happen (most of the time)?
Depression occurs when we get “stuck” in sadness, anger or disappointment.
The difference between feeling sad and “being depressed” is depression is persistent sadness + negative thinking + unhealthy behavior.
FEELINGS are different from THOUGHTS which are different from BEHAVIOR.
Feeling = sadness, disappointment, annoyance.
Thought = “Its unfair! I should have gotten the promotion!”
Behavior = punching the wall
Depression occurs when persistent sadness is accompanied by unhealthy thinking and unhealthy behavior. Depression will affect both your mind and body. Here is a table with symptoms of depression.
| Emotions | Feeling Hopeless | Persistent Anger | Feeling Down | Persistent Sadness | Feeling Helpless |
| Thoughts | You are a failure | You let yourself down | You let your family down | Feeling bad about yourself | I’d be better off dead/ I want to die |
| Behavior | Little interest/pleasure in doing things | Being fidgety or restless | Poor hygiene - not showering, brushing teeth, etc. | Moving or speaking slowly | Socially withdrawing: Don’t want to spend time with people you know and love |
| Physical Body | Reduced libido: Decreased interest in sex or intimacy | Trouble falling/staying asleep OR sleeping too much | Poor appetite or overeating | Feeling tired or having little energy | Trouble concentrating |
Depression occurs when you feel persistent sadness (or anger) with unhealthy thinking and behavior. Depression expresses itself in your body with changes to sleep, energy levels, appetite and concentration.
A combination of these symptoms (thoughts, emotions, behavior and body) must occur for most days within a 2 week period for a depression diagnosis.
Depression is persistent, pervasive, and disruptive to daily life. It’s not just sadness in response to a specific event—it’s an overall deterioration in mood, energy, and functioning. Unlike sadness, depression can linger for weeks, months, or longer, and it affects not just how you feel emotionally but how you function physically and think.
If you are having suicidal thoughts like “I wish I was dead” or “It would be better for everyone else if I was dead” this is a sign of severe depression and medical care is required immediately.
If you're unsure what to do, call a suicide prevention hotline. These professionals can help guide you through your feelings and offer immediate support.
Hotline Resources:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): Call 988 or text 988 for immediate support. Available 24/7.
Crisis Text Line (USA): Text HELLO to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
If you or someone you know has suicidal thoughts and a suicide plan do not leave that person alone and immediately go to the nearest emergency room.
If based on this information you believe you may have depression and want treatment (*and live in the state of Utah) Dr. Cariello is expertly trained in treating depression, both your mind and body. Click the button below to schedule your free 15 minute consultation.